is not pretty. I feel like I haven't slept in days despite getting a good eight hours last night. So, I'm gonna ramble here briefly, eat something and go to bed.
I babysat my cousin Krista's kids yesterday instead of getting time with Alex and Emma. My cousin Wayne, who's had cancer for years that has been kept fairly under control through radiation treatments, is not doing well and Mom, Aunt Edna and Kim (Krista's mom and grandma for those who don't know) all headed to Kentucky to be with him. So, Angie didn't make the trip from IL and I filled in at the last minute as babysitter to Kade, Gracie and Faith. This was after a morning at the Farmer's Market. I think Kateri's tea business is really going to take off and it was another very busy morning there. The intermittent downpours made things interesting there as well.
Anyway, three kids under seven years old are a handful no matter how you slice it. And, despite planning on taking it easy today, I couldn't turn off the internal "You Must Clean on Sunday" directive that persists in making me actually do something around this apartment.
But, I did go knit for the afternoon and have made a fair bit of progress on my increasingly beautiful sweater. Seriously. I plan on wearing the hell out of this thing when I finish it if it even comes close to fitting me. I have also gotten Holly's baby gift as far as I can go with it until I get more yarn. And, that's not happening until after I get paid sometime this week.
I sent off Green, No, and the untitled poem inspired by she who shall remain nameless to River Styx this week and, despite that being a tough thing to do, I feel really good about it. Whatever happens, I'm sure I'll blog about it, good or bad.
That's it for now-food and bed are calling me.
Sunday, May 31, 2009
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Why California is wrong
1) They've upheld a ban on gay marriage yet are agreeing to recognize those marriages that have already taken place. This represents a complete contradiction. Either something is constitutional or it is not. There can be no middle ground-you either respect and recognize the civil rights of all the citizens of your state or you don't.
2) The choice to yield to a public vote on a constitutional matter represents a horribly flawed notion of the law. Someone's rights are not/should not be determined by a populace. Either they are entitled to the rights or they aren't. It's not a matter of popularity or public opinion: someone is either allowed their full civil rights under the law or they're not.
3) And, that, frankly is what the bottom line is. Millions of people are being denied basic civil rights in this country because of their sexual orientation, a stance that is specious at best. And, it seems to me, that is also a stance that is rooted in a fundamentalist Christian belief system. It was this same belief system that advocated laws against interracial marriage for far too long-even after recognizing Black citizens as equal members of this society. (Don't believe me? Look it up. Jim Crow laws and the like made it a crime well into the 1960's for a interracial couples to marry with many of the same 'destruction of society' arguments that we're hearing today about gay marriage.) And, for the record, civil unions are nothing more than an attempt to reinstitute a 'separate but equal' policy. I have no problem with the idea that a gay couple cannot walk into a Baptist church and get married. That's a religious ceremony and, as such, is governed by the bylaws of the synod that leads the denomination. What I'm talking about is that any citizen who has reached the age of majority in this country should, by virtue of his or her citizenship be able to marry any other citizen who has reached the same benchmark and call it what it is: a marriage. All citizens are equal under the law and the idea of separate but equal was struck down by the Supreme Court of this COUNTRY (not an individual state, mind you) in order to integrate schools when the justices finally realized that separate cannot, by definition, be equal. It simply can't. And, to deny a great portion of our citizens the right to commit themselves to one another because they happen to love someone of the same sex is nothing more than a repeat of that idiocy. We discarded that policy for a reason. It's a bullshit policy based on an attempt to appease those who would mark people different than them as deviant or wrong simply because they are different. It wasn't right when we did it to African-Americans, refusing to recognize their basic humanity, their intelligence and their potential contributions to this country. It wasn't right when we did it to women, refusing to allow them a voice in the way they were governed or to hold property in their own names. It wasn't right when we did it, in various forms to Asian Americans, Irish Americans, Native Americans, etc. It was wrong then and it's wrong now. More so, perhaps, because we should have learned these lessons in the last century even if we were late to them, even if we went kicking and screaming (some of us, anyway). What's happening in California represents a step backward for far too many people. Gay men and women in this country are citizens and, if for no other reason than that we are supposed to be a bastion of freedom and individuality, they deserve and have earned the right to have it recognized. To ask them to take anything other than the full rights of American citizens-to love whomever they choose and to be able to declare that love by marrying freely and having that marriage recognized in all fifty states is abhorrent, wrong, and anti-American.
2) The choice to yield to a public vote on a constitutional matter represents a horribly flawed notion of the law. Someone's rights are not/should not be determined by a populace. Either they are entitled to the rights or they aren't. It's not a matter of popularity or public opinion: someone is either allowed their full civil rights under the law or they're not.
3) And, that, frankly is what the bottom line is. Millions of people are being denied basic civil rights in this country because of their sexual orientation, a stance that is specious at best. And, it seems to me, that is also a stance that is rooted in a fundamentalist Christian belief system. It was this same belief system that advocated laws against interracial marriage for far too long-even after recognizing Black citizens as equal members of this society. (Don't believe me? Look it up. Jim Crow laws and the like made it a crime well into the 1960's for a interracial couples to marry with many of the same 'destruction of society' arguments that we're hearing today about gay marriage.) And, for the record, civil unions are nothing more than an attempt to reinstitute a 'separate but equal' policy. I have no problem with the idea that a gay couple cannot walk into a Baptist church and get married. That's a religious ceremony and, as such, is governed by the bylaws of the synod that leads the denomination. What I'm talking about is that any citizen who has reached the age of majority in this country should, by virtue of his or her citizenship be able to marry any other citizen who has reached the same benchmark and call it what it is: a marriage. All citizens are equal under the law and the idea of separate but equal was struck down by the Supreme Court of this COUNTRY (not an individual state, mind you) in order to integrate schools when the justices finally realized that separate cannot, by definition, be equal. It simply can't. And, to deny a great portion of our citizens the right to commit themselves to one another because they happen to love someone of the same sex is nothing more than a repeat of that idiocy. We discarded that policy for a reason. It's a bullshit policy based on an attempt to appease those who would mark people different than them as deviant or wrong simply because they are different. It wasn't right when we did it to African-Americans, refusing to recognize their basic humanity, their intelligence and their potential contributions to this country. It wasn't right when we did it to women, refusing to allow them a voice in the way they were governed or to hold property in their own names. It wasn't right when we did it, in various forms to Asian Americans, Irish Americans, Native Americans, etc. It was wrong then and it's wrong now. More so, perhaps, because we should have learned these lessons in the last century even if we were late to them, even if we went kicking and screaming (some of us, anyway). What's happening in California represents a step backward for far too many people. Gay men and women in this country are citizens and, if for no other reason than that we are supposed to be a bastion of freedom and individuality, they deserve and have earned the right to have it recognized. To ask them to take anything other than the full rights of American citizens-to love whomever they choose and to be able to declare that love by marrying freely and having that marriage recognized in all fifty states is abhorrent, wrong, and anti-American.
Sunday, May 24, 2009
No
Emily dear,
No, I am not nobody-
And it saddens me so
That you were.
Yes, it's true, I applied for membership
In that select society
Imagining, perhaps, that it would bring
An afterlife with you and Anne,
Sylvia and, sometimes, Adrienne.
What a party we would make.
Fine porcelain cups of rough whiskey
That scalds throats and tears eyes.
Honesty, I suppose, we could label it
And deliver it unflinchingly to all who dared approach.
It seems a pretty prospect.
But still I must decline
To be nobody with you.
For even in my solitude
The knowledge of my unshrinking self remains.
And in that knowledge, strength to let the cup pass me by.
Emily dear,
No, I am not nobody-
And it saddens me so
That you were.
Yes, it's true, I applied for membership
In that select society
Imagining, perhaps, that it would bring
An afterlife with you and Anne,
Sylvia and, sometimes, Adrienne.
What a party we would make.
Fine porcelain cups of rough whiskey
That scalds throats and tears eyes.
Honesty, I suppose, we could label it
And deliver it unflinchingly to all who dared approach.
It seems a pretty prospect.
But still I must decline
To be nobody with you.
For even in my solitude
The knowledge of my unshrinking self remains.
And in that knowledge, strength to let the cup pass me by.
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Oh, also
I finished the first four books in the Percy Jackson and the Olympians series. They're awesome! I highly recommend them. I also finished this month's book club read, City of Thieves by David Benioff which was very good. Started Julia Glass's latest novel today and like it so far.
I now have about five projects going and it's getting out of control. Stina's scarf was supposed to be done nearly six months ago and I think she's starting to think I'm just making it up. The baby blanket of doom is going to take twice as long and twice as much yarn as I thought it would. Meanwhile, I'm in love with the sweater I'm working on and can't spend time on it like I want since it actually requires concentration.
I have a three day weekend coming up and am nearly desperate to go do something fun. Fun. Just thoughtless, silly, unadulterated (how apt!) fun. Anyone have any suggestions?
I now have about five projects going and it's getting out of control. Stina's scarf was supposed to be done nearly six months ago and I think she's starting to think I'm just making it up. The baby blanket of doom is going to take twice as long and twice as much yarn as I thought it would. Meanwhile, I'm in love with the sweater I'm working on and can't spend time on it like I want since it actually requires concentration.
I have a three day weekend coming up and am nearly desperate to go do something fun. Fun. Just thoughtless, silly, unadulterated (how apt!) fun. Anyone have any suggestions?
I'm all jumbled lately
And it sucks. To live a life with no regrets-that's what you hear people say they want to do. As if that's realistic. You're going to regret something because you have to choose one path or another at some point. There's probably going to be a part of you somewhere that wonders just what was all along the journey you could've taken. Well, unless you win the lottery and get to live all your wildest dreams. And, that ain't happening, it seems. So, how do you decide what to put off (possibly forever)?
*sighs*
Maybe I just need a vacation.
*sighs*
Maybe I just need a vacation.
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
So tired
Woke up this morning sore all over again. This mattress has got to go! Also, it'd be nice if I could never again have a dream about Alan. Especially one in which I beg, plead and cry for him to take me back while feeling terrible (in that all-consuming, panicky, dream way) about having slept with other men. Ugh. Aside from that, I wanted to go work out this morning and, having logged on to find the location of a campus gym near my office, have now realized that the WUSTL website isn't conducive to actually finding anything. *chants to self to think positive* Okay, thinking positive thoughts, happy thoughts. I'll look for it after work cause I have a bit of extra time there now. PMS being in overdrive, btw, doesn't make it so easy to shut negative thoughts up. Neither does the fact that Sable responded to the cheaper cat food by puking it up all over the floor. Iams it is, then, from now on. Hope there's nothing really wrong with her. Okay, time to get dressed and head off to work.
Friday, May 15, 2009
Who needs chronological order?
I've just moved my blogs for most of this year from myspace and, for some reason, it's put them in reverse chronological order. So, if you're reading this, start at the bottom of today's posts for the most recent one.
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