1.23.2011

Happy Sunday! Here's another list!

1) I finished reading Tales of the City yesterday. Loved it. Not sure where it belongs, genre-wise but it's certainly getting a high recommendation from me.

2) I haven't been knitting a damn thing lately. Ella's shawl and Tim's socks have been stuck in one spot on the needles for a while. I need to return to my Tuesday knitting friends to regain my motivation, I think.

3) Got to see the munchkins briefly at the Magic House and will probably be driving to Marion to see Em cheer next Saturday. I would *love* a volunteer to go with me.

4) The battles with the heating in this apartment seem to have died down. Just waiting on my landlord to put the furnace on it's own circuit breaker so it doesn't resume kicking off periodically.

5) I have to say there is nothing better than being around those who truly love you. I still sink periodically but a couple people keep nudging me back toward that inner optimist. In particular, my brother, Tim (One of us adopted the other, or maybe it was a mutual decision) keeps managing to make me laugh just when I think I can't. All of my friends have been fabulous, honestly, about helping me refocus on what's good instead of what really, really sucks. Love.

6) I keep thinking about the idea of mindfulness and, also, meditation. I'm trying to channel the reading I do into areas that will lead to self-improvement rather than just escaping. Any suggestions on that topic would be appreciated.

7) Cats are wonderful creatures. As I write this, Luna and Daisy are trying their damnedest to snuggle up to me and make sure I'm covered in cat hair for the day.

8) Family of origin stuff remains the same.

9) I feel the need to make a snowman or snow angels or both.

10) I'm going to be truly irresponsible and buy myself something decadent for breakfast.

More another day.

1.7.2011

I want to move and be still at the same time
To write without leaving a mark to be judged
To dance and to watch others dancing
To leave here and to plant my roots deep

I have grown too comfortable
too eager to accept your kindness
to feel warmth in the midst of the ice storm

I am lost.

I turn, circling myself, as I look for the answer
The freezing wind burns me, familiarly.

1.4.2011

Okay, here's what's in my head, sans most of the details. I'm feeling pretty lost lately. And, no, not in a good way. I debated for the last three days whether to even write on here anymore. I still haven't settled that question. Is trying to articulate the things that happen and my thoughts on them even a worthwhile endeavor anymore? I've been hiding out, physically and emotionally, from almost everything and it feels good. And, that, of course, scares me if I let myself think about it too much. So, I'm not thinking much these days. I'm pursuing what feels better than that and escaping into books or video games as much as possible. I have no plan for now that extends much beyond the necessities.