Day 88 (I think?)

It's just been difficult to find much to string together over the last few weeks. I keep starting and stopping writing. Not just on here but with a couple poems that have floated through my head as well as that story that seems to be stalled simply because I'm not finding the right kind of energy to write lately. I think part of it is that I've gone through several intensely stress-filled weeks and have just been trying to figure out whether I'm in a comfortable place again or not. You know, being able to breathe deeply and completely relax because you know you've at least entered a cease fire. I'm still bracing myself for something else to go wrong, waiting for the next hit. Sucks but that's where I've been for awhile. I've been escaping into lots of fun activities from day to day with friends but creativity is still just beyond me. I also keep saying I'm getting back to my knitting groups but find it so much easier and sort of peaceful to just tune out to the tv or radio. Hopefully that will change soon and I'll get back to all the things I'm neglecting.

Day 66

I think these are much better than any words I could come up with.

Even more of Day 65

From being told she was around 5 cm dilated at 3 pm, Amy's been told now that it may actually be closer to 3. She's done so great but is worn out and the nurse convinced her to go with an epidural. She's really upset but it may be better overall for her and Parker. What effect it will have on the remainder of her labor/Parker's birth I don't know. But, we're coming up on the 27 hour mark... More tomorrow, probably.

Day 65 continued

After this many hours (I've lost track now, close to 21, I think), I have to say I am incredibly impressed at Amy's ability to handle this process. No drugs, managing it just on her own-I would NOT have guessed that she had this kind of strength. They finally upped her pitocin after a few hours at the same time that the doctor broke her water. Since then things have been moving more quickly. At one point she declared, "This kid ain't getting a brother anytime soon." Angie and I ran to get some food for everyone and, since we've gotten back, the contractions have really intensified and we're keeping out of the room, just letting Bobby and Amy be alone for a bit.

Day 65

It's just barely day 65 but there's been little sleep to be had in this waiting room. Most of us who are here for the birth have been in this room for a few hours, trying to get some sleep while Amy does the same down the hall. Unfortunately, a group of people (who make us McGuires look meek and mild) filled the room until around 30 minutes ago. Tried to sleep on the floor with my coat for a pillow but mostly just watched Em sleeping. And, in all honesty, it's less like watching someone sleep than watching a strange interpretive dance. I wonder what dreams fill her head, my Emmabug. Earlier we walked to the nursery to look at the newborns through the window and she was completely awestruck. On the walk back she wanted to know all about when she was born and wondered just why she couldn't remember it. The things she comes up with...

Being around while someone is in labor (or being induced) is a far different experience thus far than I thought it'd be. They started Amy on one type of med and are going to switch her over to another in a couple hours. Supposedly that second med (Pitocin) will make things start happening fairly quickly. She's been having contractions without it around every thirty seconds but apparently not really progressing. So, we'll see what happens when they change things around at four. I'm actually amazed I'm this coherent in writing when the thought "Must. Find. Coffee!" keeps running through my head.

Day 64

Sneaking to write this at work. Amy is being induced tonight-Parker will be here soon. Pisces with Cancer rising, looks like. A good sign, I think.

Day 63

I have seriously fallen off the blog wagon. But, I'm back to running around almost constantly lately and that's not conducive to much writing of any kind, even these extremely abbreviated blogs. Plus, Amy is having issues with her blood pressure and it's not looking like that's going to change. Doctor appointment for her tomorrow and I'm thinking they're going to decide to induce labor. That's about it right now-I'm sorting through some ideas and bouncing them off sounding boards. More later.