Saturday, October 23, 2010
Last week, I was in a place where I could see things improving with some of my family over time. Particularly with my sisters, I felt like they were growing more accepting and tolerant of me. And then I got the most hurtful message from Angie and it just made me realize how little interest they have in being a family with me at all. I still got to visit the munchkins for their birthdays but everything felt different and false. More so than it ever has. I don't know what else to say or do with them but the fragile hope I had has faded almost completely. I've been telling myself since that it will get better or hurt less but I simply can't see how right now. The one thing that has provided some comfort are the many messages of support and love that I've gotten from my friends over the last few days. Shoulders to cry on, hugs, willingness to listen-I need more vocabulary to fully articulate just how much I needed those things and how readily available they were from people who were (in some cases) also directly targeted by my sister with hurtful words and labels. That's all I have right now. Maybe tomorrow will find me with more.