Today was odd. Boredom inspired use of StumbleUpon turned up, within the span of this morning, the poem I read at my grandma's funeral three times. The feeling I got was close to how it felt when I had a dream about Grandpa Fitzwater back in April. So, it feels like she is moving on and was saying goodbye.
When I was a child, she used to do things for me, just for me. Small things like make sure she kept Kraft Mac and Cheese around because it was my favorite or rake the leaves in the yard up over and over so I could jump in them. Bigger things like actually talk to me and listen to what I said.
Before I moved to Texas, in 1998, I set aside a day just to be with her, to do whatever she wanted and to have time to talk. And, I remember so clearly her expression and the way she looked at me, saying goodbye then. "I love all of you," she said, "but it's just seemed like you were always closer." Before she died, she repeated almost those exact words about Emma. As I feel her moving on from this plane, I'm sad but I also *know* somehow that she and Emma and I are connected and will remain so.