Day 44

More thoughts on Julie & Julia: Another passage I really love from the epilogue (odd how much more I enjoyed that than most of the rest)--"Sometimes, if you want to be happy, you've got to run away to Bath and marry a punk rocker. Sometimes you've got to dye your hair cobalt blue, or wander remote islands in Sicily, or cook your way through Mastering the Art of French Cooking in a year, for no very good reason. Julia taught me that."

Julie Powell had an idea that most people would label as absurd, even crazy. It was an idea that, at times seemed to be driving her dangerously close to the edge of her sanity and, yet, gave her a reason to keep getting up every day and, since she got a book and a movie out of it, a new career. Hopefully she loves this career more than her job at the government agency she kept trashing throughout the book... I digress, however. My point is that she did something that didn't make sense to anyone but her and, despite the challenges it created for her, something inside her made her keep going until she realized what she was gaining from it. And, it seems to me that what she gained from the experiment was a true sense of who she was and, to borrow (yet again) from Campbell, what her true bliss was. And, of course, in my usual introspective way, having completed a book by someone who has a true understanding of what that means for her makes me question what it'll take for me to know with certainty what my 'bliss' is and how I can find it.

Last night I was reminiscing with a friend about the days when I had access to a darkroom and was spending a lot of time on my photography. The feeling I had during those times is similar to the feeling I have when writing (when it's going well and Mia is cooperating) or when I'm out in nature just for the sake of being out among the trees by myself. It's just a deep peace and stillness--it seems to come from the air, almost. I wouldn't view it as a joyous feeling but more as a sense of feeling truly connected with the deepest part of my soul. Is the definition of one's bliss a feeling that somehow combines the two? Or, is it something completely different? OR, is it one of those things that you only truly recognize when you find it? So many questions...