Sunday, February 22, 2009
What HAVE I been up to? Well, I didn't run off to Ireland or Europe just yet. But, as I've been remiss in my blogging of late, I thought I'd fill you all in on what I have managed to do.
Work is still good. I'm managing to stay put at Wash. U. for the time being although I've got no idea if they'll ever actually hire me. It's a weird situation, being a temp for this long. They keep talking about trimming the budget which is almost enough to make me twitch although my supervisor assured me the other day that my job was no less secure than anyone else's who is on staff. I think I'm supposed to feel better based on that. We'll see what happens. I like the job and the staff there so I'm doing my damnedest to think positively.
I'm still settling in at the apartment. I need to hang up pictures and get some more furniture. As I write this, I'm lying in the floor next to my only chair. Of course, finding furniture hasn't been a problem as much as actually getting what I can find moved here and up the stairs. A co-worker gave me a coffee table but it's too large for my car and is currently still in her basement. I do, however, have internet access at home now and that's a big plus. Also, Daisy still hasn't quite gotten used to the size of the place and often wakes me up at night running at top speed from one end to the other. But, I have plenty of privacy, can cook a decent non-microwaved, meal and can do my laundry without it being a major operation.
Oh, and, of course, there are the questions of what's happening in my social life, I suppose. To that I have to say, not much that's significant in terms of romance although I've still got the greatest set of friends ever. I've gone out with a couple different people but it never seems to go where I'd like for it to. Actually, I'm not really sure where I want things to 'go' these days anyway. I'm puzzling that one out and will have to get back to you on it. I keep holding the idea of adopting on my own in reserve and, a lot of the time, that feels like all I want anyway. I did the marriage thing-not too successfully for those who haven't been following along at home. I'm doing pretty well on my own and, given what I see in relationships around me a lot of the time, it might just be better to keep focusing on that.
What else...I've been spending a lot of my free time reading up on Paganism again and getting certain aspects of it straight in my head. It fits in an undefinable way that no other belief system has in the past. (Side note: those inclined to condemn or judge this should feel free to simply move along) I'm learning and growing more and more, becoming more myself, it seems, as time goes on. I like that feeling. And, no, I'm not sure where the path of my life is leading me. This is one part of it. I feel good and at peace with it so far, I'm just going to keep going and see where it takes me.
In all honesty, that last sentence pretty much sums up what I've been doing lately. I'm working on giving up that illusion that I have control over the bends and twists my life is taking and, instead, taking life as it comes and finding the positives, the little hidden gems, in it. It's surprising just how many there are to be found. There are a few things lately that I've really struggled with, mostly to do with the choices I see people I care about making but I can't control that either. All I can do is to continue to try and act according to the best that is in me. Can any of us really do any more than that, when you come right down to it?